this makes sense now

Suddenly, with course selection coming up (everything done and stamped by Friday), things make more sense.

I’m getting an idea of what I would like (to do).

Not a job per say, but … program, I guess, to study in university.

Also, university.

I think I might drop the entire America and England idea (lol right there I like that. also never really shipped in the first place but hey this is not the actual topic), because for me, that might be aiming too high, and really, I’m tired.

I’m tired.

I’m really freaking tired.

So, Canada. I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤

I want to make this happen.

I don’t know what would happen if I don’t … make this work, you know?

Achieve higher. Believe. Try your goddamn best.

But damnit, its hard.

You have no idea how painful that measly 86 looks on my report card right now (and to think we’re getting it on Thursday).

I can’t stand it.

It needs to be higher.

I will improve for this semester and all its work and next year. I fecking better.

And I know this is a lot about me…

But I can’t seem to understand anything else. My head is all fuzzy from worrying about the future, and I’m desperately trying to squeeze in everything else in the world beside it all.

The want of more.

Ugh.

/what will happen if things don’t go as planned?/

/as imagined?/

/as hoped?/

/you better have a bloody good backup./

AGH SUMMER SCHOOL

AGH at least I’m not failing.

Just…exam results + report card tomorrow!!!

AGHHH

AGHHH

And have to wait til tomorrow for Mark’s new post

and wait until tomorrow until black dragon grows up

and wait until tomorrow to finish email to penpal-person-thing

and wait until tomorrow to check the HP forum for updates

and wait until tomorrow to do anything again of routine at all.

At least Red as been retrieved…a few minutes? hours? after the last post. xD